Heel No!
Women need stilettos like fish need bicycles
A funny thing happened on the way to the White House: Stiletto heels!
A bunch of Boomer Zoomers and I were talking about the wonders of the inauguration celebration. The extraordinary young poet Amanda Gorman absolutely wowed us all. Jennifer Lopez sounded powerful. And Lady Gaga inspired at least one woman’s tiny granddaughter to sing a roaring anthem of her own creation while donning voluminous yardage of sparkling pink froufrou.
We celebrated whip-smart lawyer Kamala Harris as Vice President, Dr. Jill Biden as First Lady, and the indomitable Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. If the year were a mathematical equation, it could be: Girl to the power of 2021!
But did you look at their feet? Stiletto heels everywhere. Our old dogs ached at the sight.
Let me confess: I wore stiletto heels throughout the 1980s. I sashayed countless city blocks to and from New York City fashion shows while covering the beat as a regional journalist. Sometimes with the added weight of a baby conveniently stored inside my body or, less conveniently, in a color-coordinated carrier.
I’ve fallen victim to many a trend in the name of fashion.
Shoulder pads? I have pictures that make me look like a fierce linebacker. Hemlines? I donned mini skirts made from less fabric than the average handkerchief and voluminous dresses that took up enough real estate to require their own zip codes. I smeared on a neon pink lipstick that made my teeth appear such a monstrous shade of yellow that I scowled and pouted through an entire season rather than give up the trend.
Fashions that make absolutely no sense at all? I get them. And I embrace them with all my heart while wearing an especially stylish face mask.
But watching a powerful adult woman teeter about on two needle-sharp heels looking as though she is tip-toeing over hot coals on Barbie bound feet with a serious inner-ear infection?
I don’t get it.
Stilettos seem perfectly on brand for women who favor false eyelashes, hair extensions, facial fillers, mysterious lung surgeries, and all the intellectual ambitions of store window manikins who, by the way, balance on said stilettos with the help…
